Tale of Two Tongues

Text: James 3:1–12 ESV

During prep this week, I found out that we do a lot of talking. I read multiple stats, but I'll take the ones from Matt Chandler. He said the average person will spend 1/5 of their life speaking. Meaning if you were to write out all the words you speak in a day, we're talking 50 pages. In one year, you're talking 132 books at 200 pages each. That's the average person. Some of you here might not be doing as much talking. Some of you, like me though, might be filling libraries with books every year. 

It’s safe to say the Bible definitely has things to say about what we do with 1/5 of our life. Now, I’m wondering, with the 1/5 of your life that you've already spent speaking, I'm wondering, have you ever said anything you wish you wouldn't have said? Maybe this week, or even this morning? I want to begin by reminding us that words matter. For someone who talks a lot, I was faced to look face to face with texts like this from Matthew 12:36–37:

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36–37 ESV)

“Every careless word.” Most of us give some serious thought to the big speech we're going to say, our wedding vows or a work presentation or a big conversation — all of these kinds of big moments in which we're going to speak. But we give very little thought to all the other times when we speak (which is the majority of time). The Bible is reminding us though that every word matters.

That is true, I need help. If you are someone who thinks to yourself, “I have said somethings that I did not wish I wouldn't have said.” Or often you end up saying, “I am sorry I said that. I didn't mean to say.” Or if you think I am prone to use careless words, James has help for you this morning.

What we are going to do is turn to James 3 for a sobering picture of our tongues and for much needed help. Now in chapter 3, James shifts topics from talking about the rich and the poor. Now he's switching topics to talk about wisdom, and he's going to begin by talking about the tongue. In other words, how we use our tongue, our words, is one part of what a life of wisdom looks like. 

What James will tell us is a Tale of Two Tongues as we read in our story, we find out it's really a tale of two tongues that are at war with each other. One tongue is bridled. It’s guarded. It's kept in check. And it not only keeps the tongue in cheek, but the whole body. It is blessed. It's life giving. It builds up. It’s under control.

The other tongue is one that's loose, not in control. It's a spark that lights whole forests on fire. It's untamed. It's life taking. It curses. As we get into chapter three, we're going to see this tale of two tongues and then see how James points us to Jesus to help in this waging war of two tongues.

James's tale of two tongues begins with a warning to those who use their tongue a lot — to teachers. Look verse one and two: 

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.” (James 3:1–2 ESV)

The warning is, “Look, teachers, you're going to use your tongues a lot. What you need to know is that taming the tongue is next to impossible.” If you could do it perfectly, you'd be a perfect person, which means you're going to stumble and fall. You're going to say things that you wish you wouldn't have said. James’s point: not many of you should become teachers. Why? Because you're going to use a lot of words. That is frankly going to multiply the chances that you have of stumbling in saying things that cause people offense and sin. 

Heed the warning—the warning that you as a teacher, when you use your words, they come with a certain authority so be careful. Know that being a teacher is no small thing and most of you should not do it. 

In these verses though we also begin to see James painting the picture of the first tongue in his tale— the tongue that's bridled. He admits that if one was able to bridle his tongue perfectly, he would be a perfect man. Because he would have control over every part of his body. Listen to how James describes what it looks like when something like the tongue is bridled—controlled. Look at verse 3:

“If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.” (James 3:3 ESV)

This little thing in the horse's mouth, the bridle controls the whole horse. Because his tongue is controlled by this bridle the rider can control the whole horse. Here's another example in verse 4: 

“Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.” (James 3:4 ESV)

Again, the example there is this small rudder controls the entire big ship. What's James trying to say? Well, you've got the tongue, and it's small but mighty. If you could control this small thing, you would be controlling your entire body. Here's his conclusion in verse 5:

“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.” (James 3:5 ESV)

What does he mean? Well, he means here's the tongue, it's small, but it can be used to speak great things. Those great things can either be really, really good, or as we're going to see, they can be really, really bad. What's the difference between the really good and the really bad? The bridle. That's the difference. Do you have control of the boat or the horse or your body by controlling this small thing? If you do, great things will come up. 

By way of example, I want to point us to the perfect man that did have perfect control of his tongue. Here’s the second part of John 8:28: 

“I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me.” (John 8:28 ESV)

Jesus, the perfect man, therefore, the one who every word he spoke was life giving, was right, was good. How does he describe his speech? He says, “I speak just as the Father has taught me.” He bridled his tongue by speaking only what the Father gave him to say. Jesus’s speech was perfect because it came from wisdom from above — which is exactly where James goes when he's talking about wisdom in the next section. 

You need to remember that we decided to stop today’s sermon at verse 12. But this section is part of a larger section that goes at least through the end of chapter 3. The whole chapter is a chapter about biblical wisdom. Here's what James says just a few verses later in verse 17–18:

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” (James 3:17–18 ESV)

When James talks about a bridled tongue, when he pictures, this first tongue in the tale of two tongues, it's one who, just like Jesus, exemplifies speaking wisdom from above. When you think of the words that Jesus spoke, they were wisdom from above. They were, in James’s words, peaceable, they were gentle, they were open to reason. Jesus spoke full of mercy, full of good fruits. He was impartial. He was sincere. And then listen. He sewed peace. James is saying this is what a tongue being bridled looks like. 

Now he's  going to introduce us to the second tongue in his tale of two tongues. He is going to introduce the tongue that is not bridled. It's untamed. It’s uncontrolled. Let's go back to James three. Let's pick up at the second half of verse five:

“How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.” (James 3:5–6 ESV)

There you go. You’ve now met tongue number two. Just as in his explanation of a tongue that's under control, which included the images that said there's a small little rudder and it controls the whole thing. He continues that same analogy. But this time it's something small — a spark from a fire that lights a whole forest ablaze.

I grew up in Colorado. I remember we would go camping, and I remember we always made a huge deal out of the fire. As a kid, I just never really understood why this was such a big deal. Then I got older and moved to Idaho where for months I breathed the smoke from someone who lit a forest on fire because an ember from their camp fire blew onto dry ground. James’s picture of a tongue uncontrolled is the spark that lights these kinds of fires. But James is not the only one to talk like this. Listen to Proverbs 16:27:

“A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.” (Proverbs 16:27 ESV)

My first real job was at Wendy's. I remember there was a guy there, this big, tall dude. He had been working at Wendy's for a long time. And Ron, he knew everything. But every time they put them on the grill. Grill was not the sought after position. You begin to wonder then, why does he keep getting put on the grill? 

Well, it didn't take me too long working there to realize why. This guy's mouth was scorching fire — all the time. I think every other word he said was a cuss word. Sometimes he didn’t make sense because it's just full profanity, hate speech, and tearing things and people down. Here's the reality. No manager is about ready to put Ron on the drive thru. “Hi, welcome to Wendy's. . .” you don't know what's coming next. Ron’s “little words” could light a fire, and all of a sudden Wendy's could be in deep water because of something he said. 

Okay, so that’s in unbridled tongue. James continues to give an example. Look at 7–8: 

“For every kind of beast and bird, reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:7–8 ESV)

What does James do? He takes us to the circus. He says over here you have the elephants and when you blow the whistle they stand on their hind legs. Then you move over to the tigers who are controlled by this whip. Finally, you got the monkeys juggling and swinging all over. We've tamed them. 

Then he takes you to SeaWorld. You got Shamu the killer whale swimming around. Then you have the dolphins doing these cute little tricks by jumping out of the water and doing flips. We’ve tamed them. 

Yet, what is he trying to prove? He is pointing out that no human being has tamed the tongue. 

Finally though James in his tale of two tongues brings in a plot twist. He has not simply been telling a tale of two tongues who are neighbors. It turns out that these are actually two tongues at war. Here's what he says in verse 9–12:

“With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.” (James 3:9–12 ESV)

James ultimately ends his story by calling out a war — a double mindedness. Over here you bless the Lord which is by far the greatest thing that you can do. But then you turn around and you curse. You speak down. You tear apart God's people. His plea is it ought not to be like that. We ought not to be Jekyll and Hyde. 

I used this example before. I find it to be such a raw picture of how we can so easily use our tongue to tear down. Think of referees at any sporting event. I have to tone down the example so that we can keep it PG in here. People are out there yelling, “You're such an idiot. You can't even see. You're a moron. Do you even know what you're doing?” Then Sunday morning, after tearing down the person, we show up and we praise God. 

Oh how we wish this happened only at the sports field. If we are honest, you might see this “cursing” in your marriage, with your kids, with your family, at work, whatever it might be. It's that sense that if you ever have had that feeling, “I wish I wouldn't have said that.”

James is saying it should not be so with Christians. We should be the kind of people who are bringing life with our words. My question to James as I’m reading this is, “where's the help man?” You're right. Guilty as charged

I heard someone say, “A fool's tongue is long enough to cut his own throat”( Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs: Chapters 1–15, NICOT [Eerdmans, 2004], 102). Oh, that can be me sometimes. So where's the help? Where's the hope? Here’s the good news. I don't think James has left us alone. I don't think he's just left us in the dark and said, “Hey, good luck. Glad I put that on your radar. Call me if you get a good solution.” No, I think James has gospel-rich solutions. I think it begins by coming to terms with what he says in verse 8: 

“No human being can tame the tongue.” (James 3:8 ESV)

If you're someone here who feels like my tongue can be out of control. You need to begin by realizing you're not going to solve this on your own strength, by trying out your own bridles. You must have help. 

When James talks about the tongue, it's always in the context of wise living. You might be thinking, why does that matter? Why do I keep going back to the fact that this is what a life of wisdom looks like is a life that has a tongue that's bridled more and more? Well, it is because I think that's where James is pointing us to help. Remember, we talked about what wisdom looked like in verse 17–18 “wisdom from above is first pure, peaceable, gentle, and so on.”

If that is what a bridled tongue looks like, then James has already said to give us a lifeline to help us find this wisdom. Here's James 1:5

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5 ESV)

Let’s use the perfect one, Jesus, as our primary example. Jesus was one who practiced perfectly James 1:5. He sought wisdom from above. Now, as those we who lack wisdom come to God and say, “Lord, please make me wise.” 

Here is how James conceives of us who are in the war between two tongues fighting. How do we become more and more like Jesus? How do we become more and more like those who bridle our tongues? I think James is saying, pray more, speak less, and sign up daily for heart surgery. That is my attempt to take what may feel like something abstract—“ask for wisdom from above” and try to boil it down to three takeaways: 1) pray more, 2) speak less, and 3) sign up daily for heart surgery.

First, here is what I mean by “pray more”. I think James is calling us to think hard not just about big “wedding day words or speech class words.” He wants us to guard our tongues at all times. Every one of your words matter. All of them make a difference. Since we need to be those who are careful about our words all the time we need to be those who are constantly going to God and saying, “Lord, please, please help me here. Guard my words here.” We need to do that over and over. 

Let me try to make this real practical by giving you two Psalms to pray. Here is Psalm 141:3

“Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3 ESV)

The psalmist is praying that the Lord guard his mouth because he can't do it on his own. He's got to have God help him: “Keep a guard over his mouth in a watch over his lips.” 

Number 2, here is Psalm 120:2

“Deliver me, O LORD, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue.” (Psalm 120:2 ESV)

Of course, here we are calling out for the Lord to deliver us from having lying lips and deceitful tongues ourselves. 

I think James wants us to pray more. But he doesn’t stop there. I think he wants us to speak less. Remember in the beginning how he warned teachers. Well that warning can go out to anyone who opens their month. Remember what James said in 1:19

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” (James 1:19 ESV)

Or here's Proverbs 10:19 

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Proverbs 10:19 ESV)

You get a lot of words, you're  going to get a lot of transgression. But whoever restrains his lips is prudent. Have you ever sat in a meeting and someone started to talk? They started going and it was okay. But then they keep talking, and they keep going, and it's getting worse. And they keep going. And it keeps getting worse. You're just sitting there thinking, “Stop, stop talking.” They keep going. And it's not getting any better. I've been that person. 

So if you struggle with saying things that you’d wish you didn’t say. Pray more. speak less. Finally, James is calling us to sign up for heart surgery daily. So here's what I mean. Remember, James's opening statements? A perfect man if he's able to bridle his tongue, what is he able to do? He's able to bridle or control his whole body. When we bridle the tongue, the Bible is saying, it's because you have control over your heart. 

Here's how the Bible thinks about it: out of the heart is where the words come from. The words are just a reflection of what we think and what we believe or feel. Here's Jesus in Matthew 12:33

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:33–34 ESV)

The root of all we say is our heart. 

Let me see if this quick picture helps capture what I mean by words coming from our heart. I remember when I first got to college, I dated a girl for about four days. I wouldn't recommend it. Here’s what happened. On the fourth day, I said, “Hey let's go for a walk.” We went for one, and I was not planning on breaking up with her. But as we're walking I'm just kind of noticing what's coming out of my mouth is that I'm breaking up with her. By the end of the walk they were broken up. You know, I think I was just surprised that she was. I wasn't expecting it. But what came out was what was in my heart. It was how I was feeling even if I hadn’t planned on saying that. 

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Now this is obviously not a perfect example. I didn’t regret what I said. But how many times have we said something that we wish we could take back. But if we are honest, what we said really reflected what our hearts felt. And unfortunately, what it reveals is a darkness in our hearts. Those harsh words show that we have some ugliness in our hearts that need to be cleaned out. 

Therein is the root of the problem. Wicked words come from a wicked heart. 

If you are one who speaks and you are ashamed of what you said, it’s a heart problem. What is coming out is what was hanging in your heart. Here’s one way I heard this week to think about it: “It may be easy to act like a Christian, but it’s not easy to react like one.” (link) Why? Because reactions reveal what’s in our hearts. It takes away the filter. 

I think James is calling us to say we need heart surgery. If you're going to have any hope of taming the tongue, it doesn't begin by anything less than coming to God and saying, “I need to be made new for my tongue to change. This heart surgery is something we're signing up for daily. It's something that God has done for us in the beginning and now we're asking God would you do it again? Let me just show you what I mean. Here's Proverbs 4:23–24

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from your crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.” (Proverbs 4:23–24 ESV)

Notice how it calls for us to cry to God to help us guard our hearts. But then what comes next, words about our speech. What would flow from the heart is speech. And we want our speech to be fountains of living water. 

So if you are someone who speaks and wishes you wouldn’t have spoken what you said, I think James has three true helps for you: 

1. Sign up for daily heart surgery

2. Pray more 

3. And speak less. 

I want to end here by pointing us to Proverbs again. Here's Proverbs 18:21

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” (Proverbs 18:21 ESV)

Words matter. And the Bible's clear, in your words can be death. Meaning you just let your tongue be untamed, and it will light a blaze of forest. Or it can be life. It can be a tongue that has life is bridled by wisdom from above. It can be a tongue that prays more, it speaks less. And is going in daily for heart surgery to say God conforms to me more into the likeness of your Son. 

But ultimately, this passage points us to the one who had perfect words. It points us to Jesus who’s perfect words brought peace to us. It points us to the fact that our God exemplifies words that bring life. It calls us to the table. And we're going to turn to Communion, where we hear words of life from Jesus himself. 

“For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” (1 Corinthians 11:23–26 ESV)

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV)